on raising a hoarder

Little Friend is now taking showers instead of baths.  This change has come about thanks to a newly realized fear of hers: the bathtub drain.  That black hole of a threat has niggled its way into her subconscious as a place where everything–toes, toys, spiders, soap bubbles, and mommies–may disappear into without warning or provocation.

The drain is scary.

The fear started, innocently enough, with a red rubber band.  The rubber band had been invited as an honored guest into the bath with her.  The arrangement went well until the end of the bath when the gaping vortex to nothingness opened beneath the bathtub spout.  Little Friend’s fingers managed to nab the very last loop of rubber as that band quickly sucked its way into oblivion.  The rubber band was safe.  Little Friend’s psyche, not so much.

We’ve since been making lists of what, exactly, might or might not fit down drains.  It’s been days, and the list is far from exhausted, although tipped heavily in favor of what will not fit down the bathtub drain.

All this brings me to my main point:  Rubber bands are of great importance around my house.

So are rocks.

And leaves.  Which must be held by stems.  Or else you’ll be reprimanded for mishandling.

Before I give you the list of “cherished” objects in Little Friend’s possession, I must first beg your understanding: we do provide her with ample, age and development appropriate toys.  It’s just that she prefers the…uh…odd things.

Some “cherished” items in Little Friend’s Possession:

• Five rubber bands of assorted sizes and colors (a number that swells each time she spies a new one on a sidewalk or in some other disgusting public place)
• A blue glass decorative stone
• A purple twist-tie
• Two green beans
• Two gourds (or moon rocks, if we’re going by Little Friend’s preferred categorization)
• A purple squishy ball
• An orange squishy dinosaur ball
• A green squishy ball that will do in a pinch when the aforementioned purple and orange balls cannot be located
• Three rocks
• Four “little lost flowers” or mums that were deadheaded from our porch display
• A” baby” green pepper
• Yellow, pink, and fuschia wine glass tags